Pointers

Forget everything else you've got to worry about. The pollen here is out. of. control.
You leave footprints in it when you walk. You swallow it when you breathe in. If you step outside for more than 30 seconds it settles on you. I feel like we've been crop dusted.
Would you like to know how to piss your server off the fastest?
Walk in to a place, and before you even acknowledge the server, tell them these four words:
"We're in a hurry."
This is frustrating for several reasons.
1) Servers have a cadence, a routine they to start a table off. When you interrupt our routines it throws everything off and we get flustered. So, let us GREET YOU; let us tell you if there is anything special about the menu; let us take your drink orders.
2) I don't control how fast your food comes out. That's on the kitchen. There are other people in the restaurant who were here before you. There food will come out before yours 9 times out of ten. Weird, huh? Get over it. Don't look at your server, or worse, flag your server down or yell at him or her from across the restaurant.
3) Why would you think I want you at a table for longer than I had to have you in it anyway? Please.
If you're "in a hurry," let us at least greet you and then tell you what's going on. Then, say something like, "I know you're busy but if it's at all possible we would like to get out of here as quickly as we can."
It probably wouldn't hurt to make up a story about a sick kid or having to pick up a puppy from the vet or something either.

Yes, I know this is a weak post but I feel like I need to do this every day and I had nothing today.